Merry Christmas, Everyone.
Yes, I said “Merry Christmas”. Even soldiers in the War on Christmas can wish others a merry one. It’s not that I have an inherit issue with the holiday, just the asshats who use this as a platform of guilt and greed and ignore a more fundamental undertone of togetherness, family and peace.
The first group is the small handful Talibangelist Christians who believe Jesus’s message was “don’t lead by good examples, make government enforce my teachings”. These people ruin Christmas every year by their douchebaggery. If Jesus were here today he would smack the ever loving shit out of these morons. You know that question “would would Jesus do”? He’d help feed the god damn homeless instead wasting his life protesting Wal-Mart because they said “happy holidays”. I swear, if there’s a hell burning someplace in the afterlife, these twits have earned a special place on Satan’s lap. Then again, these are the same people that think Jesus cares about things like gay marriage over, oh, I don’t know, world hunger, AIDS, war, human suffering, injustice and ethnic cleansing just to name a few. No, all he’s concerned with is anal sex.
Not to be forgotten are the major corporations who exploit the seasonal depression and gullibility of the masses by spoon feeding them the idea that if their Christmas doesn’t look like the one in the store window, they’re pathetic social outcasts. Once they have you convinced that your Christmas isn’t special enough, they push useless crap down your throat claiming it to be a miracle cure-all. You know what I did for Christmas this year? I went over to my Dad’s apartment, cooked a ham, some mashed potatoes and green beans and then watched the last 7 pirated episodes of The Boondocks on a homemade DVD. You know what we gave as presents? A fucking hug. That makes my Christmas better than 90% of America who can’t see beyond the price tag. Granted, the people aren’t blameless for falling into this trap, but they’re not the ones spending billions every year to keep this idea going.
So again, Merry Christmas everyone.
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It would be hard for Christians to feed the homeless on Thanksgiving and Christmas as the politicians usually have those days covered. Not any other day of the year, of course. Just apparently the only two that matter to the starving.
This time of year always makes me happy I’m not a christian.
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